dive in

I'm at a bar with a woman that I used to date. She's blonde. I never treated her right when we were together. She always loved me more than I loved her, and I was always busy doing something else. In addition, when she would call me on my bad behavior or the lack of attention, I'd somehow twist it back on her. I was manipulative in the relationship, but really I was a mess without her. Somehow we're back together. I'm happy about this, but I'm kinda upset at myself, because I know I'm no different than I was before. It's just going to end up the same way as last time and I'm just going to feel shitty about it.

She wants me to dive into a small square shaped pond filled with murky water. It's the entrance to another bar. The pond is no wider than one square foot and probably no deeper than 6 feet. There's some kind of magic with this entrance, but it's all very normal and logical in the reality of my dream. When you dive into the water you get sucked into another place, and exit completely dry. This place is special, only for certain people who dare to question a part of themselves, or truth, or something like that. There is danger in going to this place--a dark danger that I'm aware of and very much afraid of. I want to dive in, for her, to follow her. She does it all the time. She is so brave and open, and she just doesn't care about things like fear.

I get up on the bar and do a hand stand over the pond, preparing myself to dive in head first. Everyone around me is egging me on and being supportive, while at the same time wondering if I'll have the guts to go in. But, I can't do it. I get really upset that I can't go after her.

I sit at the bar with some guy who's searching for sedated cats. I know that there are some sedated cats in the closet. They don't want to be found by the man. I can see them with my mind. I open the closet and see them, not really, but like I'm visualizing the reality. I don't tell him about the cats.

Later, my girlfriend comes back from the other dimension and I try not to make eye contact with her. I actually kind of duck behind some people so she won't see me. First of all because I've failed her and secondly because Ian Love just walked into the bar.