in a car, outside myself

I was driving around somewhere in the mid-west in a blue mini-tuk-tuk. I picked it up at a convenience store and was driving it around for some time looking for my parents and "town." I followed signs that looked like the ones all over Seoul pointing to different subway stations. It's late, sometime in the early morning hours of a new day. I kept zoning out and dozing off while driving, like the way I do sometimes in the back of a cab coming home after a couple drinks.

Finally, I was almost there and then I ran out of gas. At the front of the tuk tuk--that now suddenly resembled a cheap plastic machine half way between a vacuum cleaner and a swiffer--there was a compartment that held an aerosol can filled with fuel, like those single gas burners they have in Korean restaurants. It was empty so I went into a store to see if they had another. They informed me that they didn't have any and that I had somehow gotten away with not paying the equivalent of $5 as a deposit at the pick up spot. No one had mentioned anything to me when I took the tuk-tuk, they just seemed to be there. I figured it didn't matter, I'm a foreigner and I honestly didn't know.

A couple at the store/gas station gave me a ride to "town." Their car became van-like. Then I'm in my parent's mini-van and I'm with my parents. A short time passes but it feels like we have been riding together for a while having many discussions about many things. They park and get out, but I'm staying inside to take a nap. My mother rolls down the front window on the passenger side so I won't die of carbon monoxide. I find it strange that she would even allow me to stay and sleep in the car. I'm not even tired, but I stay.

It's night. Looking at the open window I'm nervous that it's open too much. I imagine that someone could reach in and open the door. I worry that someone is going to steal the car, or me. The van becomes a Winnebago/tour bus. My parents walk away a bit and a tall white dude starts reaching into the car. I tell White Dude that if he reaches anymore that I'm going to cut off his arm. White Dude's friend, another tall white guy is suddenly inside the van. The van is open now like the bus has an open atrium. He's asking me, "With what? A serrated knife?"

At this point I don't feel safe. I go to nod my head, knowing that I can't deceive him. I'm defenseless. I have no weapon at all. I see my father out of the corner of my eye, but I'm locked inside of the car. The window is still open so I calmly say out loud, "Dad, there are three very tall white men inside the van." this is when I realize that there are three big white dudes in the van and that there isn't much my father could do to protect me outside. I start to panic.

There is some kind of anxiety rushing over me and then suddenly something happens. The next thing I know I'm a policewoman outside the van, which is parked at a gas station. The wheels are turning inside my head. I felt the same rush of anxiety as when I was myself, but now I'm trying to figure out what to do to save the young woman (myself) inside. I'm standing next to a couple (my parents) who are standing there petrified. Suddenly I charge through the glass window with the plan to reach in and grab the woman. The glass breaks into shards that soar behind me in slow motion. I have a momentary thought, that I've seen too much anime... and everything fades.